Bucket List

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This is my bucket list. The best bucket list ever compiled. This is not a dumb hire two private investigators to follow each other around list. This is a real life, serious, I have to complete before I die or my life was wasted, bucket list.

Yell “I run this town” in a meeting.

Have the number one song on ITunes be from Eminem ft. Trip D (my rap name) and be called My Dawg.

Walk out of a house and have it blow up behind me.

Ask for the bill at a restaurant and have the waitress laugh and say “You know your money is no good here.”

Yell “Look around, I own everything, it’s all mine!!!” and not be standing in my house.

Have the Mayor say “You’re not welcome in this town anymore.”

Yell “Food fiiiiight!!!” while in a cafeteria.

Have Selena Gomez say “I can’t, I have plans with Derris tonight” when talking to Justin Bieber.

Get stabbed in the leg, stare at the knife for a second, then pull the knife out and calmly say “That was a big mistake.”

Have my arms and my hands registered separately as deadly weapons.

Be accused of taking steroids.

Be comfortable enough to only wear size small Under Armor like the Rock.

Get the key to a city and throw it away because there is no room on my key chain…power move.

Yell “Grab the money, were heading to Mexico!!!!”

Get a Chipotle unlimited burrito card.

Rip all the IV’s out of me at the hospital and say “I have business to take care of.”

Get shot, but have it deflect off of my cross necklace.

Have someone say “there’s only one man for the job” and have them be talking about me.

When I die have people remember me by being someone who lived his life a quarter mile at a time.

Draw my sword and yell “For Sparta!!!”

Have someone come up from behind and say “Excuse me Mr. Johnson” then when I turn around they say “Oh I apologize you looked a lot like the Dwayne Johnson from behind.”

Tell a super model “It’s not you, it’s me.”

Snap my fingers and have guys with guns come out of the bushes.

Miss the ferry but jump my car onto it.

Be in a situation where I yell “Ride or die” and have it fit into what I am doing.

When the minister says “Does anybody have any objections” stand up and say “I do”. Then have Kate Upton say “I’m sorry Justin, my heart is with Derris, plus Kate Verlander is a terrible name.”

Yell “You will never take me alive” in a kidnapping scenario.

Lastly, sky dive with no parachute.