Loser

Rules

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A couple nights ago I was playing the game Horse with some friends. Horse is where you shoot different basketball shots, trying to make a shot your friend will miss. When you make a shot and the person you are playing with misses, they get the letter H. Once you spell out the word horse you lose. You can also play pig, which is the same game, just a little shorter. Unclear why they are both animal related. Horses and pigs have exactly zero in common with the game of basketball, but I digress. We were playing with 3 people and one of my friends made a shot. Another friend took the shot and missed. I proceeded to take my own shot, only to get a look of confusion mixed with you are cheating from my friend.

That is what gave me the idea for this post. Everybody seems to have their own rules for how games are played. What we need is a calm/soothing/brilliant voice to establish such rules. Luckily, not only do I know the perfect guy, but we happen to be really close. 90% of all the rules are accurate but there are a couple of rules in each of the following games that people have different rules for. I will be talking about those.

Please keep in mind these rules are not suggestions, they are laws. I have reached out to the FBI to see if they would help enforce these, but have yet to hear back from them. I am however, confident they will respond with an affirmative yes.

I searched my brain for a few other games with different rules and below will be the proper rules to 4 important games. These rules will not only make the games better they will also save friendships in the process.

Horse

Rule 1

The first rule I touched on above is changing the name. It will no longer be horse and pig because those have nothing to do with basketball. It will now be loser and bad. The only good thing pig and horse have going for them is that you get to call people a horse and a pig and have it be acceptable. I want to keep that alive and be able to call people a loser and bad. However, unlike horse and pig, bad and loser have a correlation to the game of basketball.

Rule 2

If somebody gets a letter off of a shot, nobody has to attempt that shot again. You can’t get multiple letters off of one shot.

Rule 3

When you are on your last letter and you miss, you get the following two options.

Option 1 – You can either take the shot again and if you make it you stay alive or if you miss you are a loser.

Option 2 – You can have the person who originally made the shot take it again and if they miss it you are still alive and if they make it you are a loser.

Monopoly

This is not a rule but something that needs to be said. Monopoly is NOT a game of luck. If you had 3 people play 300 games each one would not win 100 of them. The person with the most skill would win 150-200 of them. Monopoly has skill to it and so much so that I have not lost a game of monopoly in 10+years.

Rule 1

If you land on go you DO NOT get $400. Playing where you double the go money if you land on it infuses far too much cash into the game. When there is a ton of cash in the game it takes away a little of the needed skill and turns it more into luck.

Rule 2

When you land on free parking you get nothing. You don’t have to pay anything and you also don’t get to collect anything. Some people put all the money paid into the chance and community cards into the free parking spot so if you land on it, you get it. Again it not only infuses too much cash into the game but when is the last time you parked in a free parking spot and got handed $250?

Rule 3

If for example you own all 4 railroads but need to mortgage one that does not nullify your monopoly. Meaning if you mortgage Reading Railroad and somebody lands on one of the other 3, they still have to pay $200. All mortgaging Reading Railroad does is make it so nobody has to pay you if they land on it.

21

Back to basketball with the game of 21.

Rule 1

If your score is 13 or less and you get tipped, you go back to 0. If your score is 14 or higher and you go get tipped, you go back to 13. You can have 18, get tipped to go back to 13, then get tipped on 13 and go back to 0. I know it sucks, but it is part of the game.

Rule 2

When you are breaking or shooting after a made basket you shoot 3’s. No more free throws, this isn’t the 1950’s. Also once you make 3 in a row you check the ball up and are forced to score with defense again.

Rule 3

We are still playing basketball there are out of bounds rules. If the ball goes out of bounds the person with the lowest score gets the ball the first time. After that it goes in order to the next lowest and so on and so forth until the game is over. Once you go through the first time you have established an order and must keep that order the remainder of the game.

Foosball

Rule 1

I wrote about this last week http://thoughtsatlarge.com/?p=1529. ABSOLUTLY NO SPINNING.

Rule 2

If the ball goes into the goal and then bounces out, it is still a goal. In a real soccer, which this game is based off of, all the ball has to do is cross the white goal line. It then doesn’t matter if somebody kicks the ball out or if it bounces out it is still a goal. Same goes in foosball.

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